“But it's no use now, to pretend to be two people!" thought poor Alice, "Why, there's
hardly enough of me left to make one respectable person!” ― Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
hardly enough of me left to make one respectable person!” ― Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
Published in 3 parts at BiCafe in 2001
©2001 Victoria Moore
I’m Happy To Say...
That while I wasn’t paying too much attention in the last 8 years (busy with my career and a loving monogamous relationship), it seems that the bi-visibility movement has been effectively working! I’ve seen the B-word used in four sitcoms this season and numerous movies (quite well I might add), and many resources are now available in all media. May I just add...
it's about friggin’ time!
Being single again, I’ve had more time to get involved in the community and reflect on the progress we’ve made. Thanks to the efforts of Michael Page and many other dedicated promoters/supporters, opportunities to educate and socialize continue to expand and I’m personally feeling somewhat less invisible these days.
If the 60’s brought us sexual revolution, the 70’s a pre-AIDS swinging scene, the 80’s a major gay evolution, and the 90’s brought us Lesbian chic, then just maybe, just maybe, we are ready for the next step, and the new millennium will herald us into the true meaning of the teachings of so many masters... that unconditional love is what it’s really all about. It’s not about who, how, or what you love, but THAT you love.
Coloring Outside The Lines
Before I present the this rambling diatribe I feel you should know that I have been out as Bi-natured my entire life (the 40+ years of it), personally, professionally and socially. I've taken the heat both publicly and privately never regretting a moment of it. When Michael asked me to write something for a feature, I thought sure, no problem. When I stopped after the first real sitting, I was at 15 pages! But relax, it’s been edited down. There’s so much to say, and I feel honored to have the audience with a venue to just let it flow. To many it will seem like “Yeah, so what!” To those of you who have made it to that point, congratulations! It wasn't an easy journey, was it? To the rest of you, all I can say is that it’s been a fulfilling worthwhile journey, however frustrating it might get sometimes along the way. The reality is that my life has been enriched by coloring outside the lines. Way outside the lines!
I’m well aware that as bisexuals, we face a certain type of aloneness, along with the general isolation our absence from the world views in which we grow up and continue to live. The misconceptions from both the gay and straight communities often leave us shunned and perplexed as to why its so hard to understand the “space in between.”.
Between the extremes of hetero- and homo-sexuality. Really? What is so hard to grasp? It's amazing how much politics and religion have gotten tied to such a simple and natural concept.
Before I get onto my little soap-boxes, my editors thought that you should know a little about who was ranting this time, so that's where I’ll start.
While most of the population have considered themselves gay or straight, I have never known anything other than bi.
My family history is peppered with gay/bi life experiences for at least two generations on both sides of the family. Through grandparents, parents, uncles and cousins I was presented a potent air of accepting diversity, respect for others lifestyles, sexual identities and choices. It was when I got into the real world that I found resistance everywhere towards my bi-nature, from both the straight and the gay communities. I was confused and angry at times, but mostly appalled by the majority opinions from both camps.
As a child, my father inspired me with Walt Whitman’s Leaves of Grass for bedtime stories and my mother provided me with Sappho and other classic sexual/romantic oriented reads by age twelve. I had read the classic BD/SM "The Story of "O" by the age of thirteen (1969).
As far back as a I can remember my father was always comfortable with the closeness of his male friendships,specifically during 27 years of mostly off-shore Navy service and while participating in such testosterone driven sports as semi-pro boxing, softball and high-diving. My mother had bi-experiences in her youth, and promoted women's issues and cultural diversity, not just as lip service, but by how she lived her life. My father had concubines in Japan while my mother worked as a professional in traditionally male dominated fields and took lovers while my father was on extended off-shore duty. They respected their marriage, as well as each others sexual needs/desires and they remained happily married until they died. After burying them both, what I repeatedly heard was how they lived their lives on their terms and that they were self-sacrificing goodhearted souls. My life feels like a natural continuation of their spirits.
I never hid my sexuality, my tastes, my relationships or my life choices, from myself, my family, my friends or my work associates. I would however hide my tangled feelings of exposure and hurt, and yes, occasionally shame, rarely letting them know what I felt in reaction to what they had said, suggested, or implied. My sexuality has been scrutinized by most people I become close to. But, as a result, I’ve had some amazing conversations in the most unlikely of places with an incredible assortment of people. I’ve had to look deeper and longer at issues most people find hard to comprehend and I've endured ridicule and verbal abuse on almost every level.
I came out as Bi in the capitol of the cutting edge “free-to-be-me” era of the Haight-Ashbury, anti-war, sexual revolution days in the San Francisco Bay Area. At 14 I stayed for a few months in a communal home with 16 others in Berkeley for the summer between school years, where we lived protective philosophies built around family and sharing.
It was a time of political whirl winds with everyone fighting for their rights to do or be something and let me tell you,
for a bi, it was no picnic.
I was raised to speak honestly no matter what the consequences, so socially, I always felt there was some sort of burden-of-proof to be fulfilled since societal structures created the confusion I felt while trying to be crammed into one of their contrived boxes. Fortunately, I did not have those issues to contend with growing up in a household where people were defined by their character and honesty rather than their sexuality. Where alternative lifestyles had validity.
At least I found acceptance there and was allowed to exist in their home without being made to feel a pervert, from either of the gay or straight relatives.
I was common-law married at almost 16 to a straight man when we moved to Texas, where we occasionally opened our bedroom to selective women friends for our mutual benefit. It was a good relationship but we separated 3 years later (1975) in the height of the trendy and almost socially acceptable “swinging scene.” I was often in the company of liberal thinkers, progressive intellectuals and political activists through my teen years and both men and women continued cultivating my open nature.
During the very political late 70's, amidst social pressure and a limited dating pool of women, I began seeking the company of lesbians and reserving the fact that I enjoyed men. I regularly saw and felt the persecution of Bi-natured women by the lesbians in my oh-so-liberal hometown. It was the intensifying gay rights movement which drew harder lines that seemed to have no room for bisexuals. It reminded me of the women's movement of the late 60's, distancing themselves from Lesbians because they thought it would distract or interfere with their women's political agenda. Through frustration and social pressure, by age 19 or 20, I began living as a lesbian. For the next few years, I unsuccessfully attempted to fit in the lesbian community, but the fact remained, I was Bi. It is part of my nature. It always had been. I feel fortunate to have come to terms with that so early in my life but still, most of the support came from my family.
At the age of 23 (1979) I became involved in a monogamous manage-a-toi relationship with a married couple. Although we never lived in the same house, the three of us were out to all family, friends, their children and business associates. Our respective parents and his adult children were all aware and supportive of the love we shared, as it was quite evident, and they mostly tried to over-look the sexual side of it. Our extended family spent major holidays and birthdays in each others company. I do not know one person who was not envious of the special bond we shared. That 3-4 year relationship has been an inspiration for myself and others to pursue their happiness, even when flying in the face of convention and community standards.
This type of relationship will never work for you if you have issues of jealousy or envy. If you refuse to commit emotionally to anyone or you demand total emotional commitment from another person, this isn't for you. If you delight in your partner's happiness, regardless if you are the source, then maybe this is for you.
I’ve since lived in various relationship styles from open to monogamous and have seen people grow exponentially within various frameworks of relationship. I have an adopted gay son who recently experienced a loving 3-way relationship and is learning lessons about selflessness, jealousy and sharing. I feel through my experiences, I’ve truly come closer to understanding and experiencing unconditional love. I know I am capable of either a male or female primary relationship, and given the right circumstances and personalities, to love multiple partners.
The way I’ve lived my life has tested my friendships and sent my mind reeling every time I look back on it or try to visualize the future. With our proclivities, you soon realize that you have to come up with new definitions of family.
If you are out, all of your lovers, friends, partners (current or life-long) and soulmates have more pressures on them just to be with and supportive of you. They have to look at their own issues, and resolve that you are worthy of the complications you bring to the table. The ones that hang in there with you tend to grow in your orbit. What that means is a more intricate weave of the fabric of life, a fuller spectrum of experience. In spite of the world according to our government (and most of our churches) who regulate who and what can constitute a family, I feel blessed to have the family that has grown around me, and only hope they are aware of their intrinsic value.
No matter how much we tinker and tweak the monogamous marriage model, unless we start from a whole new basis of relationship, we will end up drawing on the same roots of men possessing women. That new basis consists in having the freedom to choose, both one's partners and one's way of life, and that freedom must be based on maturity and self-awareness. We are not just helpless slaves to our identity or our sexuality. We have choice and freedom and those things require an articulation of values, desires and responsibility.
Equally political is the personal choice to exist in different kinds of family, or what some people call "love-style," which includes the choice to have more than one lover or life-partner as a natural state of being. It is called "polyamory" or "pan fidelity," and the basic idea is in having committed, long-term relationships with more than one person. This is different than the polygamy of the Mormons or the Jews of the Old Testament because such families generally consisted of one man and a harem of wives. The loss of a woman's identity in marriage is called civil death, a form of bureaucratic execution that the state reserves also for convicted felons, who are legally non-people. Even in our supposedly enlightened times, it's presumed that women need men for economic support.
Why are most of the women feeling so stressed and time challenged these day? Because it remains true that women make 63 cents for every dollar men make (at the current rate of equalization, it will be the year 3888 before women make a full dollar) and still she’s expected to perform over 50% of domestic chores. As a busy executive, I’ve faced all of these challenges in traditional relationship. As women, we have found ways to work smarter, faster and most importantly, together. Our bonds with other women go deep in directions that differ from our bonds with men.
A sexual expression of our intimate relationships is a natural expression I feel should not be denied, if desired, and
only if it is agreed and/or appropriate for the relationships one is involved with.
Each time I crossed new thresholds, both in relationships with men or women, I felt the sickening terror that comes with being uncloseted and accessible. Fortunately, I feel the ghosts of my parents reach back to smile.
Recognition & Dating
Finding like-minded souls is most difficult for our group. Until recently we had no identifiers to locate each other in a crowd. Our new flag has been a help thanks to Michael Page, but if we don't support it and fly it, it will never gain the universal recognition our gay brothers and sisters have in their rainbow colored world.
With a busy multi-dimentional life, I do not have the time to go to bars all the time, gay or straight, so the issues of how we find one another are more difficult than one would imagine. Thanks to the internet, we are more able to meet people of our tribe. In the previous 24 years of seeking social interaction, I was fortunate to have friends who kept open to my interests and provided some wonderful introductions.
Since I don't wear the trappings and exhibit traditional characteristics of most gay women, people assume I’m straight and very fem. When I try to flirt with more overtly expressed lesbians, I get this “why is this straight chick staring at me?” questioning look. I’m assuming the long fingernails frighten most of them. And flirting with straight women, well, that’s a whole other adventure, and more often than not, a frustrating misadventure, but still worth the risks. I’m continually surprised how many self-identified straight women are female oriented and just not pursuing it.
The Constant Outing
It’s hard enough to be queer in a heterosexist, homophobic society but then to constantly feel the pressure of asserting your sexuality as a defined entity in a society where straightness is usually assumed until proven otherwise. You wonder if it makes sense to bother to out yourself, again and again in the endless stream of new interactions and relationships, especially when your not exactly clear on what you're outing, or whether you even have a right to claim membership in the world of queerness. It’s bad enough to feel like you're living a lie if you allow straight people to assume you are totally straight, and gay people to assume you're totally gay. But having to think about all of this when you're not even getting laid has to be the most depressing! Somehow, given our options, we often feel twice as undesirable when seeking, but not actually in a relationship.
Exchanging erotic energy with someone you love, care about, or are mutually attracted to, should not be bound by labels such as male/female or gay/straight/bi. I have explored every conceivable combination and have no real preference to gender or orientation. For me, its about everything comprising that person, the sexual side is just a bonus! The sexual expression of close emotional states, love/passion/desire naturally permeates all these perceived boundaries. I am not a fractured person and I have no desire to see my sexuality fractionalized. I actually feel more integrated in the living of my life than a good many people I see around me. I prefer to allow love and desire to flourish whenever and however it takes root, be it a life-long partnership, a short-term relationship, or a passionate interlude (provided that is an agreed part of any relationship I may be in).
As far back as I can remember, I drew no lines upon who I loved, unless it was for artistic reasons! My partners, have always known that I found both men and women attractive and I was openly bisexual. When in monogamous relationships with men I never felt particularly hetro-identified. It has impacted different relationships in very different ways. Some for better, some for worse, but for all the ups and downs of it, I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. The richness of experience and depth of connection are certainly worth the down sides.
Bisexuals, like all people, have a wide variety of relationship styles. Contrary to popular belief, a bisexual does not need to be sexually involved with both a man and a woman simultaneously. In fact, some people who identify as bisexual never engage in sexual activity with one or the other gender.
As is the case for heterosexuals, gay men and lesbians, attraction does not involve acting on every desire. Like heterosexuals and gays, many bisexuals choose to be sexually active with one partner only, and have long-term, monogamous relationships. Other bisexuals may have open marriages that allow for relationships with same-sex partners, three-way relationships, or a number of partners of the same or other gender (singly or simultaneously).
It is important to have the freedom to choose the type of sexual and affectional relationships that are right for the people involved, whatever their sexual orientation.
I’d like to state that I have always had difficulty with the term our tribe has been labeled: Bisexual. Obviously this designation was given by someone who was not Bi-conscious themselves or they'd understand that this is not just a sexual issue. I resent having 95% of our society view the very core of my identity founded on my sexuality. Just the use of “sex” in bisexual flies in the face of those of us who respect the emotional, not just sexual side of being bi-oriented. Gay men and Lesbians are not stuck with this overt reference to something so personal as ones sex life in the mainstream labeling of their community. It so hangs the issue of sex right in the face of everyone and makes us targets for the majority of the population who fall somewhere in between 0 and 6 on the Klien (straight/gay) orientation chart, and aren’t sure how to deal with it. If your out, its a constant self-examination/validation and explanation/ education process. It's amazing to me how uninformed the general population is.
Our gay brothers and sisters at least function in a society that has a clue about what gay and lesbian lifestyles are like, sexually, socially and politically. But mention you're bisexual and doors fly right open for people to pry into the details of your sexuality. I guess it would just be nice to not have to always present myself with my sexuality laying right out there on the table when I try to express my good fortune... to be capable of loving both men and women. It seemingly discredits and distorts the public impression of our tribe, they believe that our life choices and the living of our lives are based on our sexuality, or that we are sexual deviates and perverts. I do not let my life, my identity and my loving relationships revolve around sexuality. My sexuality is but one small piece of who I am. I prefer to represent myself as Bi-natured. This suits my soul better and reflects my belief that it is natural to love both men and women and makes the day to day living of a Bi-natured person a constant adventure of pushing peoples buttons. I don't think the issue is so much identity, as it is ideology.
I will admit, its difficult to have a sexuality other than the default hetero, without organizing ones life around it.
Straights can pursue their own interests while keeping one eye open for romantic prospects. Gay men have their bars, beaches and neighborhoods to socialize and cruise. Lesbians have very few full-time bars at all (100+ bars for men in SF, and only 1 or 2 for women, if even those are left), yet our bi-tribe is so invisible, we can hardly find ourselves, much less each other, even in queer venues.
The tactics of the straight majority to convince us that we need to remain hidden for our own safety, is appalling to me, and for bi women to hide within the lesbian community will benefit no one. The projection from the majority that what we do behind closed doors (or in private clubs) is revolting, disgusting or unsafe is personally infuriating. In dating we are always aware of the people we've lost to AIDS and our Bi tribe already possess strong ethics about taking care of one another, communicating honestly about our limits (which we’ve all worked harder than most at defining) and we should be ostensibly better educated and practiced in the nuances of safe sex for both male and female needs. We also tend to convey a more open attitude about using equipment both for safety and recreation, to enhance physical and psychic experiences. I hate that my/our erotic natures have been described and prescribed to us mostly by people who cannot deal with their own pleasures and therefore probably don't have many of their own!
Reverse homophobia (a popular theme in 50’s lesbian pulp fiction) states that gay sex is so amazing, it's addicting, and if you have any, it will spoil you for anything but. What’s addicting is it’s honesty: the willingness to define and face our truths about our own desires and fantasies, to own them, often in the face of horrendous penalties. Gay men have institutions and traditions that allow them to be sexually adventurous in ways that women usually are not. I have envied them my whole life for their freedom in that respect. Pushing the envelope from a female perspective led me into the Boyz fetish bars in the Folsom District in my early 20’s. The lack of opportunity for women to express their sexual natures was frustrating and I often felt that pointing oppressive finger, even from the gay community I was emerging into. Erotic leatherwear objectifying women was frowned upon by lesbians (unless of course you rode a motorcycle) and the only venues for relaxed visual/experiential expression were held sacred by the Boyz, except those rare occasions when they opened their facilities for special events where women were tolerated. Thank God that's changing a bit these days! Lesbian pornography has a broader iconography than gay men's because most of us are fighting damage done by years of being told were physically inferior (straight men) or repulsive (gay men), which our gay brothers continue to foster every time they go, “ewu”!
Politics of Identity
Being on the fringe of the lesbian and gay community for so long has been frustrating, but at least were now were being written in the LGBT&F group, even tho the community it represents still treats us like the bastard step-children they have so long perceived us to be in their unwritten separatist credos. We have not been well served (or well treated) by their own essentialist notions of either/or. I wish that we were beyond the us and them isolationist thinking that still prevails on so many levels, so that adolescents and young adults have easier access to bi men and women to present an alternative to the boy/girl, gay/straight dilemma at a time when their hormones are raging in so many directions.
In the early years, I felt the need to protect myself from being trivialized and ostracized from both sides. Even after coming out, I had to be expert in straight and gay presumptions, ignorance and frailty in order to survive their obsession for purity of identity. While I do love the biological differences between men and women, I believe many of the differences are in fact socially constructed. Through such close scrutiny of most things gay and straight, I think I’ve evaluated, objectified or fetished them to the point I have taken away their power to intimidate me.
Identity politics rarely coincide with the complex nature of the lives we live. Having survived both hetero & homo societal pressures, and having healed the internal female-male duality (so to speak), I do not presume anyone to fully understand it, unless they have attained it for themselves. Transcending this duality in the day-in, day-out rigors of living proves to be a challenge for those of us who find kinship in many worlds. It seems we live in some multi-leveled reality constantly requiring integration and explanation. My femaleness was always open to negotiation, while my maleness has been thrown in my face by every straight man who's power I’ve inadvertently usurped or professionally surpassed. Thank God for my gay/bi men friends and the straight men who are not afraid of their feminine natures, who have shown me a vision of maleness quite different than the testosterone-laden version I so often am presented with.
Bi-natured people blur the boundaries between gay and straight. Transgendered people blur the lines between men and women. S/M people challenge the whole idea that sexual orientation ought to be based on gender in the first place.
D/s blurs the lines between power and control. Some of us jump the fence and play in one another's id-filled
Unfortunately, the cohesiveness of the LGBT&F organizations are an optical illusion perceived from viewing us thru a lens of heterosexual privilege. The newer sexual minorities have always been present, but are now reaching critical mass, where they individuate, name themselves and agitate for their own liberation. We are the logical next generation, and it’s a shame to be discredited and disowned by our queer community.
Until the 19th century, people were not divided into groups by sexual orientation. Scientists with a voyeuristic bent then began naming and pigeon-holing humans, circumcising our identities. Has it helped shape and nurture us? Absolutely.
It has also polarized us from within and without. Based on research done by Kinsey in the 1940’s and 1950’s, as many as 15-25% of women and 33-46% of men may be bisexual, based on their activities or attractions. Bisexuals are in so many ways a hidden population. I’m sorry to say that gay men and lesbians have often been the most brutal on those
of us who do not fit the prescribed boundaries that some voyeuristic scientists lumped all of us queers into during
the 19th century.
Kinsey eventually refused to use any of the terms describing sexual orientation. To him, sexual behavior could not be described or prescribed and he felt sexual identity was fluid, not fixed. Identity politics implies that our identities are fixed, non-problematic, non-negotiable, and that they come with built-in philosophies. I can’t buy into the fixed identity thing either. Kind of like the fact that are things you claim at 20 that aren’t so all important at 40, but I have to admit, you’d have been hard pressed to convince me of that at 20.
The debate about bisexuality brings into it the issues and questions of who you do and do not have sex with. Is it that sex is more important than romance, or is sexual activity more important than sexual attraction? Is identity defined by a feeling or a behavior? Is gender born, learned, or both? Is desire the same as intention? Is fantasy the same as desire? All very fuzzy, nebulous and complex issues on their own.
Bisexuality threatens the accepted way of looking at the world by calling into question the validity of rigid sexual categories, and encourages acknowledgment of the existence of a diverse range of sexuality. Since there is not a stereotypical bisexual appearance or way of acting, bisexuals are usually assumed to be either heterosexual or homosexual. In order to increase awareness, bisexuals have begun to create their own visible communities.
As supportive as we've been to Gay and Lesbian communities in bridging the gap between the two perceived and segregated communities (straight & gay), we get precious little recognition for our issues, feelings, and are often the object of ridicule and resentment from both sides. I can't quite figure out how we ended up being the queers queer, but that's where we find ourselves in the public perception.
The Religious Right labeled homosexuality a mental illness, even though the American Psychiatric Association declared homosexuals sane back in 1973, joined in this prognosis by the American Psychological Association.
If sexual orientation diversity disrupts order in the workplace or in the military, that is because people are responding to their own discomfort, fear or hatred of that which is different. There is no inherent disruptive factor tied to bisexuality. Bisexuals contribute as much as anyone to the functioning of our social, political and economic life in America. Moral judgments against bisexuals by heterosexuals are most often driven by religious beliefs (judgments by the gay community are a whole other ball of string). However, codifying these religious beliefs in law, violates our Constitution! Continuing to legalize discrimination against bisexuals (and homosexuals), and justifying that discrimination as merely a moral response, violates the separation of church and state. So what else is new?
Observations on Jealousy
I have always lived in a world of compersion. So you don’t have to go look that one up, it means the opposite of jealousy. Most people do not understand this, and tell me it’s because I have never really been in love! Quite the opposite. I love very deeply, and unconditionally. However, I never want to inhibit another human beings potential to experience love, even if I am not the source of it’s expression. It is precious rare to find and share love in this world, and after all, aren’t we taught (especially thru the churches) that love is the most important thing we can attract and experience in our
There are few people who don't at least sometimes feel the bite of the green monster. Jealousy can be a sign that one is either not getting one's needs met or is afraid of not getting one's needs met. This should be discussed with the other person or people in the relationship. Jealousy can also be a sign of possessiveness, in which case one should examine one's attitudes about a relationship as ownership of a person. Jealousy is neither proof of love (as some people feel) nor proof of emotional immaturity (as some other people feel). In any case, jealousy is best dealt with by recognizing it and discussing it when it happens.
Bisexuality is not simply a matter of enjoying sex with either gender. It's also about finding emotional fulfillment with both genders. A life of serial monogamy may work for some people. The big drawback I see is that most bisexuals are bisexual all the time, not in some opportunistic sexual desire cycle. Dumping someone because the equipment they had yesterday isn't the equipment you want today is rather cruel and wasteful. By denying the excluded side of your sexuality you are not being true to yourself, you'll only end up frustrated and depressed. Bisexuality isn't a choice or a lifestyle,
it's an orientation.
Many people ignore the fact that human sexuality is a continuum from completely homosexual to completely heterosexual, which are actually the radical extremes. Most people have the natural ability to love both men and women. With current social taboos/rewards, we are pressured/encouraged to love only those of the opposite sex. Historically and currently there are cultures where occasional homosexuality is just a part of one's total sexuality. Wonder what they called it as recent as 200 years ago, when the word homosexual didn’t exist?
I acknowledge a reality beyond heterosexism (believing everyone you encounter is heterosexual). A bisexual identity speaks to the potential, not the requirement, for involvement with more than one gender. This involvement may mean sexually or emotionally, in reality or in fantasy. Many bisexuals may be attracted to both genders, but never have a sexual experience with both genders.
Sexual identity has nothing to do with sexual behavior or experience. Bisexuals, despite the stereotype, may or may not be sexually active; may or may not have been sexual with more than one person; or may not have been sexual at all.
As with all sexual identities, whom one is or is not having sex with or whether one is being sexual or not, has nothing to do with the reality of a self-professed identity. For example, a lesbian is still a lesbian, a gay man is still a gay man, and a heterosexual remains a heterosexual whether they are being sexual, have ever been sexual, or have never been sexual.
The institution of heterosexism is based on a mutually exclusive heterosexual/homosexual framework. This heterosexist paradigm places two sexual orientations on either side of a "fence" that draws the line where privileges begin and end. Lesbians and gay men have found security being together on the same side of the fence just as heterosexuals have found security being together on the same side of the fence.
In closing, all I can say is . . .
My life has been fuller and more genuine for climbing in and out of the boxes marked gay and straight. I am thankful for the people who have come into my life and opened closet doors for me when I couldn’t find the keys by myself, and for those who'd sneak me in the back doors of theirs, so I could glimpse into worlds most women (and straight men)
will never experience.
Personally, I have torn down the fence, and prefer to experience the world as a "centrist", and I feel there are more of us in this central camp than either group is willing to admit.
Blessed Bi Spirit:
- a system of attitudes, bias, and discrimination in favor of opposite-sex sexuality and relationships. It can include the presumption that other people are heterosexual or that opposite-sex attractions and relationships are the only norm and therefore superior.
- discrimination or prejudice by heterosexuals against homosexuals