MY ATOMIC LIFE
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“Who in the world am I?  Ah, that's the great puzzle.”  ― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

I was raised by intriguing individuals.  The Chief's commanding presence, intellect and levels of protocol to be observed were just assumed at all time.  In the various Officer's Clubs I would be fed and tended at a remote table away from the bar, but even from a distance, you could feel the deference other officers observed.  He was literaly a commanding presence.  It took a strong and capable woman to face the public and private challenges The Chief's career and eventual radiation exposure brought on.  His clearance level was such that there was a discernible and sepeprate public and private aspect to our lives.  He was never declassified during his lifetime and it was only through the filing of a RECA claim that I have learned more about this man and the impacts his tours of duty have had on him, his marriage, our family life, and beyond... to the 2nd Generation.  
Before I was conceived The Chief was:
-  Q Cleared for the Atomic Cold War Pacific Proving Grounds (PPG) hydrogen & nuclear weapons tests.   
-  Sr. Level Certified Military Cryptographer 
-  Master Chief Petty Officer on the USS ESTES for all blasts she served in PPG Radio / Crypto 
-  Flagship - North Vietnam "Passage to Freedom"
-  Flagship - Evacuation of Tachen Islands - North Korea
-  2+ years stationed at Atomic Energy Commission's Oak Ridge National Laboratory (ORNL) 
-  Helped design and maintain the communication systems serving all branches of the military during the PPG test the USS ESTES "Elephant Ears"
The atomic fairy dust sprinkled on our lives taught us much in the process while they were living, and the lessons and fallout continue to unfold in the present.

What is a "Chief Petty Officer"?

The "Chief" is required to be a fountain of wisdom, the ambassador of good will, and the authority on personnel relations as well as the technical expert.  "Ask the Chief" is a household word in and out of the Navy.  "Leading. Training. Mentoring the troops. Bringing up tomorrow's sailor."  The master chief's attitude toward sailors is incisive:
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"If I look out for the troops," he said later, "the troops will look out for me.  
A CPO is a full-time leader.  For most chiefs, however, time spent mentoring must be mixed with pitting their technical expertise against an increasingly sophisticated, complex environment. - They're "somebody you can trust," Prall said.  More >

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WWII & Early Career
Cryptograher/Radio

The Chief was Q-Cleared by the Atomic Energy Commission and FBI before he arrived at Oak Ridge National Laboratory  in 1949 to begin the journey that changed all of our lives.
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10 years a Miilitary Human Radiation Experiment

Overexposed before I was conceived, The Chief and his wife Jeanne were advised not to have children.  An accident on a 3 day pass changed that plan.   
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Unintended consequences.

As an eleven year old in 1967 I was acutely aware he was showing more and more signs of illness but has not yest been told it was attributed to his extensive radiation exposures in the PPG.
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+20 years as a RAD exposure research subject.

The Chief continued under watchful care at Oak Knoll Naval Hospital for the next 23 years while he underwent radical and multiple surgeries and procedures.
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Living for the moment.

Radiation exposure altered their lives and my DNA.  They began living in the moment, hiding facts from my older brother, and at the military's encouragement, finding new avenues of sexual stimulation and fulfillment.  
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The Chief never sat on the sidelines.

An active and strong competitor, if anyone had the strength for a battle, The Chief was was it.
Boxing, Wrestling, Competition High Diving, Swimming, Golfing, Pilot, Fast-Pitch Softball   
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Never explain -
Never complain.

Some of the diseases and organs involved made it difficult to share the truth of the matter and the extent of his suffering, even to his son.  As recently as filing the RECA claim - 20 years after his death did my brother come to know even some of the truths my mother and I withheld.
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Never declassified in his lifetime.

Nondisclosure and need-to-know basis were observed in the Moore household as long as I can remember.  Including with most relatives and friends.  Like his grandfather and father before him, ascending the 32 Masonic degrees brought him male camaraderie, and secretive society that involved cyphers and codes.
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And in the end...

They noted death due to brain tumors in the end, but photos of his body tell a different story.  An a short cross-country trip to see his 2 kids, The Chief became too ill to travel any further at the first stop in Florida. Having never seen a civilian doctor, The Chief died in 1989 pushed out of a VA hospital and into a private non-military nursing care facility without even a single full-time doctor on staff.  
He would be dead within two weeks. 
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Results. Not Excuses.

In 1996, President Clinton's appointed Committee’s judged the AEC had repeatedly deceived the public by denying it had engaged in human experimentation, and by issuing cover stories to cover-up secret investigations, and by deliberately supplying incomplete information to people who participated in government-sponsored biomedical research. 
 
It was clear that once government information was “born secret” it often remained that way.  
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"Born Secret"

Being born into a household already operating in a Classified/Top Secret/Q-Cleared environment had it's own fallout.  Aside from the fact that much of what I have learned of his life and career has been through the clues left behind, it made it difficult to simply invite friends over on any given day.


The Afterglow


enigma
[uh-nig-muh]   
noun, 
  1. a puzzling or inexplicable occurrence or situation:
      His disappearance is an enigma that has given rise to much speculation.
  2. a person of puzzling or contradictory character:
      To me he has always been an enigma, one minute completely insensitive, the next moved to tears.
  3. a saying, question, picture, etc., containing a hidden meaning; riddle.
  4. (initial capital letter) a German built enciphering machine developed for commercial use in the early 1920s 
      and later adapted and appropriated by German and other Axis powers for military use through World War II.

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